When do we think of when we think about sex? How open are we when it comes to this topic? How do the young generations feel about it all? We speak to a group of Gen Zers who dare to speak their mind about sex positivity.
Meet Thanyok, 18, a digital art student and gender activist who calls themself “trans-androgyne.”
How open are you when it comes to sex?
“Sex, for me, is an activity and a space in which I can unleash my feelings and emotions. It’s all about two naked humans (or more) who share that space without having to think about things like social status. Sex doesn’t need to involve love or romance, but it has to come with consent. People my age are quite open about these things. It’s no longer a taboo – we see sex as something that gives us pleasure.”
While that may be the case, there are still some Gen Zers who are still reluctant to talk about sex openly for fear of being judged. Internet may have a lot of useful resources regarding the topic, but it’s still not a safe space for a lot of young people, women, and members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Hanoi, 25, founder of The Young Vision media agency says that sex is all about pleasure and self-love.
“For me, sex is an activity to relieve stress. It gets my blood and endorphin pumping. It’s a great workout! Sex is also a tool for self-love. It allows me to explore my needs with freedom. I’ve learned to love myself and grown more confident. I respect myself for knowing what I want and for taking care of my well-being.”
26-year-old artist/tutor Daofa thinks that there’s still some work to be done.
“Sex is one of human’s basic needs. Some Gen Zers are open about it, but I don’t think they’re open enough. While it’s true that we have platforms like OnlyFans and support creators like Deerlong, there are still people who are against sex work and think that it’s unethical.”
“Let’s say if I decide to create an OnlyFans account and one of my students happen to stumble upon it one day. What do you think would happen? Someone on TikTok made a comment about Deerlong, saying things like she should think about her future kids because people will bully them. I left a reply saying that it’s stupid to blame it on the kids. It’s like when baby boomers say, “You can be whatever gender you want as long as you’re good person.” Then when their kids actually turn out to be LGBTQ+, they get really disappointed.”
Have you experienced anything absurd when it comes to our society’s attitude towards sex?
Thanyok: As a trans-androgyne, it hasn’t been easy for me to find a sexual partner on dating apps. It’s all either straight, gay or lesbian couples. I don’t really see other gender expressions or non-binary people. If I send someone a message, it’s always a guessing game for me because I don’t know if they’ll be okay with the fact that I have a penis. And when they do find out, they usually think that I’m a ladyboy. I’m not about to change my sexual identity just so I can sleep with someone.”
Hanoi: A lot of people use sex to manipulate other people. Everyone I know has experienced something like that and it’s frustrating because sex should be fun. It should be consensual and win-win for everyone involved. We’re still way behind when it comes to sex because people’s sexuality is still being oppressed and taken advantaged of.
Daofa: The education system in this country is bullshit. It’s normal for people to get horny and have sex with each other, especially teenagers. You can’t just tell them to stop being horny because, believe me, that will backfire, leading to things like teen pregnancy and STDs. I once had a female friend asking me how to masturbate. I was like, bitch, I have no idea, I don’t have a vagina! Some of my guy friends don’t even know how to put a condom on or some would ask me to teach them how to give a BJ. Things like this should be taught in school!
What advice would you give to those who want to embrace sex positivity?
Thanyok: I want say something about birth control. The fact that it’s always a woman’s responsibility just goes to show how patriarchal our society is. Birth control pills have a lot of side effects, but condoms don’t have any. They’re so easy to use and they do the same job without putting women’s health at risk.
Hanoi: Sex is not scary as long as you know how protect yourself and have the right information. Most STDs are preventable and can be treated. If you need some advice, you can shoot us a DM on IG. It’s really cruel for people who don’t know you to call you promiscuous because everybody has the right to explore their sexuality and satisfy their sexual desires. We have to learn to respect that. Don’t live in fear because society dictates what you should or shouldn’t do.
Daofa: Sexual pleasure doesn’t fit in one tiny box. I once told my student that men’s G-spot is in their anal and it’s completely natural. If some couple want to take advantage of that, we have no business putting a label on them. Follow your bliss and explore your sexual desires. You don’t need to care about what society has to say. Life is too fucking short!
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